Please Interrupt
Please Interrupt: Why Speaking Up Mid-Conflict Could Save Your Relationship
Wait… Did She Just Say to Interrupt My Partner?!
Yes. Yes, I did.
Because contrary to what you've been told... not all interruptions are bad.
Sometimes, interrupting mid-conflict—when done intentionally—is the most loving, connecting, and transformative thing you can do in your relationship.
This blog is for anyone who’s ever:
Sat silently in a conversation that was spiraling into disconnection
Felt too overwhelmed to respond, but too afraid to interrupt
Walked away from an argument feeling unheard, hurt, or totally shut down
We’re rewriting one of the “golden rules” of communication—and it might just save your next conversation from total collapse.
The Myth: Don’t Interrupt
You’ve probably been taught that “good communication” means:
Always listen
Never interrupt
Let your partner finish
But what if that rule is actually sabotaging your connection?
Here’s the truth:
When a conversation is going off the rails, silence isn’t respect—it’s surrender.
And what your relationship needs in that moment isn’t more silence. It needs leadership.
Reframe: Interrupting as an Act of Love
Not all interruptions are created equal.
There’s a big difference between cutting someone off to win an argument—and interrupting to protect the connection.
Imagine this:
Your partner is spiraling.
Their voice is raised. The energy is sharp. You feel yourself shutting down.
And you say:
“Hey—I really want to hear you. But I’m shutting down. Can we slow this down so I can stay with you?”
That’s not disconnection. That’s repair.
That’s relational leadership in action.
Why This Works: Nervous System, Boundaries & Real-Time Repair
When things get heated, your nervous system starts to shut down.
If you can’t interrupt to name that, the fight just escalates.
Intentional interruption is a form of:
Boundary-setting (“I want to hear you, but not like this”)
Self-leadership (“I’m at capacity, and I need to speak up”)
Connection-preserving repair (“Let’s get back on track—together”)
Interrupting ≠ Tone Policing
Let’s be clear: this isn’t about controlling your partner’s tone to make you more comfortable.
💡 Tone policing says: “You need to say that better so I don’t feel anything hard.”
❤️🔥 Relational leadership says: “I want to stay with you, but I’m approaching my limit.”
This isn’t about perfection—it’s about staying inside your window of tolerance so that you can stay engaged in the conversation, without spiraling into shut down or lashing out.
How to Interrupt With Love (Without Escalating the Fight)
Here’s how to do it right:
Use self-focused language and invite collaboration.
✨ Try this:
“I want to keep hearing you, but I’m feeling flooded. Can we slow down?”
“The way this is landing is really hard for me. Can we pause so I can stay with you?”
“I’m committed to working through this with you—and I want to do it without shutting down.”
Don’t make it about them being “bad.”
Make it about what you need to stay in the conversation.
This Changes Everything—Not Just in Your Relationship
When you master this skill, it creates a ripple effect:
Your kids learn how to interrupt respectfully and give feedback.
Your conversations become safer—not because they’re easy, but because they’re collaborative.
Conflict becomes something you can walk through together—not something to fear.
You start to trust yourself.
Your partner starts to trust you.
And you both start to show up better.
Why It Works: The 5:1 Ratio
Relationship researcher John Gottman found that couples who thrive maintain a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions during conflict.
These intentional interruptions?
They’re positive interactions.
Moments of repair. Course corrections that say:
“I care too much about us to let this go sideways.”
The more of those you build in, the stronger your relationship becomes.
The Real Goal: Connection, Not Control
The goal of interrupting isn’t to get your way.
It’s to preserve the possibility of repair.
So that even when conversations are messy…
Even when you’re both activated…
You can still end with more understanding, not more damage.
That’s what it means to lead with love.
That’s what it means to be a relational revolutionary.
Want to Practice This in Real Life?
This kind of communication takes practice.
And if you’re ready to stop the shutdowns, the spirals, and the stuck arguments—I’ve got something for you.
✨ Join The Relationship (R)Evolution
A powerful monthly membership where you’ll learn to:
Communicate with clarity, not chaos
Set boundaries without ultimatums
Interrupt with love—and be received with grace
Founding member rate still available:
👉 Join now for just $97/month »
